In Tehran, Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi spoke to a group of
worshippers. He warned them that in order to protect themselves from
natural disasters, they needed to follow a strict code of modesty,
especially modest dress.
“Many women who do not dress modestly lead young men astray and spread
adultery in society which increases earthquakes,” he warned them.
For a moment, I was speechless, and wondered whether someone could really
come up with something so ridiculous. But then it occurred to me: it’s
thinking like this that has led to the prevalent view of women as the
prostitute/victim. And what powerful prostitutes, we are, too – so
powerful that men feel threatened enough to want to control our actions,
our movements, and our clothing. It’s women who cause natural disasters,
it’s women who lead men astray. of course, it’s all so clear now! Maybe
Sandra Bullock’s husband is right to blame women for his abhorrent
philandering! Wow, what a revelation. What is it going to take for us to
wake up and see this dangerous thinking for what it really is?
If I were Mother Nature, this man would have nowhere to hide. I would
rain down a plague of lightning storms, hurricanes, and tidal waves upon
him that would show exactly how I felt about false accusations and unfair
shame being cast on the beautiful creatures of my world. I would then
bring on the mother of all rain storms, washing away the hatred, the fear,
and the delusion that leads to this ridiculous behavior.
If I were the Ghost of Christmas Future, I would lead this man through his
own land, right into one of Iran’s top sperm banks and genetic engineering
facilities. He would see how the facility was run completely by women, and
how those women raised daughters who had gone on to become important world
leaders. One of the facility’s top achievements has been the altering of
the male anatomy. Now, men must earn a penis by first proving that they
are worthy of respect, and being consistently honorable in their thoughts
and actions.
If I were an analyst, I might forego office sessions and send this man
directly to a psych ward, where he could get advanced and intense help for
his delusions. I wouldn’t be surprised if it turned out that there was
some catastrophic event in his childhood that combined with his cultural
conditioning to create a mind that was bound to distort a repressed feeling
of helplessness into a bizarre fantasy of evil women with supernatural
powers.
If I were enlightened, I would have no room for hate in me, as the sadness
of seeing this terribly damaged man would compel me to help him. I would
embrace the emotional illness that severed his connection with the Divine,
and with reality. Then, just for good measure, I’d probably give his
spirit a wake-up call into right thinking by smashing him on the forehead
with a two-by-four, as a particular ancient monk was known to do.
If I were a man, words like these coming from another man would fill me
with embarrassment and anger, and I’d want to do something about it. I’d
want to find a way to make sure that this man would never again feel
compelled to bring unjust shame and humiliation upon womankind, which in
turn reflects upon everyone. Perhaps we could start by fitting this man
with a chador that couldn’t be removed, or maybe a chastity belt would get
the point across more clearly.
If I were an Iranian woman in Tehran, I’d be a lesbian, and choose a life
of celibacy!
