Historically, in Western societies, sex was considered a privilege of marriage, and marriage was allowed as long as there was parental consent. It was fairly common for adolescent and in some cases prepubescent females to marry adult men, and it is hard to believe that sexual activity was absent in all cases. Changes in the reason for marriage from improving social status to love, along with child advocacy during the industrial revolution led to laws preventing this in most places.
Western societies have also, until the 20th century, considered attraction to the body of prepubescents as acceptable, as evidenced by acceptance of artwork involving nude and erotic depictions of children (for example: Lewis Carroll). During the 20th century, attempts were made (sometimes successfully) to destroy such artwork, make it illegal, or remove it from public libraries. Though such artwork can sometimes be considered legal, social pressure has prevented creating new forms of such artwork and ownership of such artwork.
In the early 20th century Western society, discussing sex with one’s children was frowned upon. This was likely brought on by the Victorian age. This led to many adults not being completely prepared for sexual intercourse, or having misinformation. As a result, sexual education became commonplace in schools in the second half of the 20th century. Sexual education has been criticized, though, to focus too much on abstinence and biology, and not enough on forms of birth control. In general, critics assert that sexual education avoids discussion of ways to enjoy sex, or how to attain mutual pleasure in ways other than vaginal intercourse.
Sex between children and adults was condoned and often encouraged by Polynesians and other cultures, especially matriarchical societies. The reason for this was because these societies revered fertility and motherhood and did not attempt to control sex. Western influence and domination has eroded their open views about sex. Therefore, direct observation is no longer possible, and the only references are older observations made before widespread Western influence.
In Japanese society, the attraction towards teenage girls (high-school students) is a widespread cultural phenomenon. The manifestations of such attraction, such as lolicon art, school uniform fetishes and sexual relations with teenage girls (e.g. enjo kosai) are more tolerated by society than in the West, though child pornography is illegal in Japan. In France and in most of the Francophone world, relationships between children and adults are usually accepted. Movies like Brodeuses (A common thread) (2003) usually show these relationships in a casual way, not giving much importance or attention to the difference of age. Nabokov’s Lolita the book was first released in France (in 1955), while Adrian Lyne’s 1997 film Lolita faced no restrictions in all of Europe, including France; and Celine Dion’s Lolita the song was released only in French by the Canadian bilingual singer. The movie Pretty Baby (1978) depicting 12-year old Brooke Shields playing a preteen prostitute—was filmed by a Frenchman, Louis Malle.
Another society with tolerance for such relationships is Brazil, where ageism or prejuidicial treatment on the grounds of age has been forbidden by the Brazilian Constitution since 1998. In 1999, 28-year old Marcio Garcia, a nationally famous actor, dated 14-year old model Daniella Sarahyba for over a year in which period the relationship was accepted by the Brazilian mainstream media and by the television network which he worked for. Also in the 1990s 13-year old Kelly Key, who would become a famous singer, started dating 23-year old singer Latino, whom she married later on. Before that, in 1982, 40-year-old Caetano Veloso a famous Brazilian singer and composer began a relationship with 13-year-old Paula Lavigne, though he was already married at the time. He divorced and married Lavigne 3 years later. Their marriage lasted 19 years, ending only in 2004. The relationship was respected and he was not persecuted by the media or music industry. None were named as pedophiles, an accusation that could be considered as slander in Brazil.
Reactions to adult-adolescent relationships may be considered by some as a prejudice like racism or the hatred against immigrants: ageism. In the 1980s, 15-year-old Brazilian student Eliane Maciel sought for judicial help against her conservative parents. She wanted the judge to rule that she had the right to date a 33-year old man with whom she was in love, and she won. They eventually married. Her drama was told in the 1983 autobiographical best-seller Com licença, eu vou à luta—É ilegal ser menor? (“Excuse me, I’m gonna fight—Is it illegal to be a minor?”), which adapted for a prize-winning 1986 film. It’s important to realize that contempt for age differences in relationships is not limited to adult-child relationships. For instance, it is not unusual for a relationship between a 55-year-old and a 25-year-old to be opposed in the West.
In many countries, sexual attraction, desires or fantasies in adults towards underage adolescents is quite common. A sign of this is that, in the adult porn industry, a reasonable market share goes to movies that show young women dressed in uniforms, characterized as high-school students. Some of these movies are regularly aired on popular adult channels like Playboy TV.
Lisa Angelettie, M.S.W., is a psychotherapist, author, and life coach. She has been helping people make smarter life choices since 1998. Get more free tips like this when you subscribe to the GirlShrink newsletter .
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