Every spring it’s the same thing – people start breaking out of their winter hibernation and getting frisky! It’s only natural that warmer weather equals less clothes and more fun.
Three tips for a safe and happy spring fling: One, make sure it’s worth it, and that there isn’t some potential side effect that will come back to bite you later. Two, pay attention now or you’ll be forced to pay later. Three, use a condom! Meanwhile, here are some answers to questions I’ve received:
Question sent in by James:
I met this girl at school and ended up falling for her. However, at the time she had a boyfriend who was moving to France. I saw her a couple of times before they officially broke up and then asked her out on a date. She said yes, then flaked on me twice (both times legitimate-ish reasons such as her grandparents’ anniversary do and something else).
We eventually went out a couple of times and texted each other a bit, then suddenly after our second date when I kissed her goodnight on the cheek she didn’t text me for over a week and just ignored my email (I tried to contact her three times). Then she started to talk again and we have seen each other about every two weeks since. I have kissed her on the cheek a couple of times and once on the lips, but that’s it.
When we are out we have such a good time and get along great, and although there is not much physical contact she flirts back. She has since then invited me to go on holiday with her and her family. I’m just not sure where I stand. Are we going out? Her old bf is in a relationship but she isn’t going out with anyone else and never talks about other guys with me. On Valentine’s Day I gave her a card and chocolates, and she gave me the same. She lets me pay for coffees and other things like that. But my question is: Who am I to her, a friend or a boyfriend?—James, UK
Well, James, cards and chocolates are okay on Valentine’s Day, but to be honest, those are the sorts of gifts kids give to each other. If your goal is to test the waters to see if things are available to move to the next level, you’re going to have to talk to her and be direct. Women like men who know what they want, and who aren’t afraid to come out and say it. If you want to know what category you’re in with her, just ask her! That’s the only sure-fire way to learn the truth, and being straightforward can certainly gain you some brownie points. If you ask her directly, you’ll know whether she’s just hanging out with you to pass the time until she finds a new boyfriend, or whether she sees you as that new boyfriend.
Question sent in by Nick:
Every time I meet someone and we wind up liking each other, it always turns out she just wants me as a friend. Even though they all tell me they would date me. Is there any way I can stop winding up the “best friend”? —Nick, US
It’s certainly frustrating when you think you’re doing everything right, but you’re just not getting the results you want. But what that tells me, Nick, is that the recipe you’re using for getting dates is actually the recipe for getting female friends. Knowing the difference can be tricky, as there’s an art to reading a woman’s body language and interactions. Because the last couple of millennia haven’t been all that safe for women, we’ve learned we don’t have the luxury of just coming out and saying what we want.
So here’s a new recipe, one that will hopefully get you a more desirable result. First of all, find the kind of girl that you want to date, and who seems to have the values, personality, and appearance you like. Secondly, and here’s the key part… ask her on a DATE. Don’t just hang out together without discussion and let things get confusing. When you use the word “date,” there’s nothing unclear about that. Girls know exactly what that word means, and if she’s interested in exploring the possibility of romance, she’ll say yes. After you’ve been on three or four dates, even the most reserved girls will probably give you a real kiss. Try it out and see what happens!
Want to learn more about what to know BEFORE you get into a relationship? Go “In the Ring With Maryanne!” In this upcoming video webinar, Maryanne will be interviewing an eligible bachelor live, on the fly, to teach you what types of questions YOU should be asking before you agree to a date or relationship. Sign up here: http://bit.ly/cvsc90
Pingback: Tweets that mention No Benefits, Only Friends? — Relationship & Dating Advice at GirlShrink.com -- Topsy.com