“Please enjoy this excerpt from today’s featured author G.E. Wilson’s book Dying To Live, Confessions of Suicide. If you have ever battled depression or another mental health disorder (or a loved one has), thought about giving up, then this book may hit home for you in many ways. Enjoy…”
Isn’t it time to smile again?
Dying to Live, confessions of suicide.
By G.E. Wilson
“Dying to Live, confessions of suicide” is an ebook offering remarkable insight into mental illness and what can truly push us over the edge.
The book’s title sums up the courageous confession of the author’s plight, together with her triumphant battle to overcome.
Met with challenge after challenge, a mentally abusive father, rejection, the divorce of her parents, homelessness, depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, social anxiety disorder, suppression, and a tremendous struggle to live in a world she felt unjust, she finally imploded.
It was a failed attempt at suicide that would eventually…. Shock her world.
Physically she withstood the ordeal, mentally and emotionally proved to be a battle, but one of which she was determined to conquer. A new mission in life was to combat the fears and pain that ultimately led her down the road of despair.
Upon immediate release from a county run mental health facility the author started writing about the journey that spiraled towards self destruction, including time spent in the asylum. A new found wisdom from the wake up call gave rise to a different perception of life. She is now medication and depression free.
This courageous book will open your eyes, as it gradually unravels the power of self help and how we can turn our lives around.
Many books have been written about depression, each educating us on how a specific ailment can be treated, others offering remarkable insight into the phenomenon of our biochemistry. This particular book however, provides an alternative approach to mental illness through the eyes of those who have suffered.
Authors Note: I am bringing this book into the light of day because I have fought hard for something I believe in, having suffered, having communicated with people who suffer, and having listened to their tragic yet empowering stories. Some felt banished by society because they attempted suicide after living a life of hell, others because they were sexually abused as children and are now suffering extreme consequences. There are those who are oblivious and fail to comprehend why, perhaps it is genetic, a chemical imbalance, or it could have been a tragedy, again there is no shame. So let us discuss this “Taboo” subject, and shed some light instead of turning our backs.
Packed with resource; whether you are suffering, know of someone who is suffering, need a source for understanding or wish to gain knowledge….. This book may help.
The Excerpt:
LIVING IN DENIAL
How many of us actually live in denial of our pain, our issues, our problems, our heartache, and our depression? I would suspect a very high percentage considering most of us find it an excruciating challenge to ‘re-live’ our pain. We would rather bury it within our sub conscious and forget it exists, the problem with this is that we will always endure the consequences, we are never truly, or even remotely healed. We will continue to experience the side effects that once hurt us so intensely. We fear the truth of our underlying pain, we fear the confrontation, so we crush it and tuck it away until another pain penetrates us and we crush that also. Eventually we either explode or we suffer with a conglomerated mush of issues we have not dealt with, how can we possibly think lucidly with all that mush floating around in our head?
A woman I once knew had endured the most horrendous amount of pain as a child. The beatings had eventually taken its toll as the fear and pain she suppressed became evident in her bi-polar behavior. She confessed “The pain is too intolerable to bring to the surface.” Instead she suffered every~single~day living in a galaxy of her own alien to any form of happiness. It was torture for me to watch a friend whom I loved writher and accept the pain as a comfort zone.
I could not express to her the importance of unleashing that pent up fear because I was accused of ‘patronizing.’ I incessantly walked on eggshells not knowing when she would snap at me for no apparent reason. If you are one of these people, go and get help. You do not have to suffer for the remainder of your life; you do not have to make your loved ones suffer for the remainder of theirs.
By suppressing and living in denial we are not evolving, we are ignoring, and remaining stagnant, or, we are regressing. It takes strength to confess, even by admitting we have a problem, and this my friends, is the first triumphant step towards recovery.
Eventually with baby steps a gradual peace of mind will prevail, we have to believe that, and above all we have to believe in our ‘self’. Nobody has the ability to cure you but YOU. Strength and encouragement can be gained from others but we have to undertake the work in order to achieve. If we choose not to help ourselves, and are affecting the lives of others mentally, emotionally,or physically, isn’t that a pretty selfish act?
BREAKING THE CYCLE
It is a sad possibility that if your parents beat you emotionally or physically, argued incessantly throughout their relationship, or even molested you; the cycle could well be carried over to you. If your father had patronized you, or you endured watching a parent fall prey to abuse, the cycle could well be carried over to you. A young boy who grew up watching his father strike his mother assumes it is okay to hit women, he witnesses his beloved daddy execute this intolerance so it must be okay, right? Wrong! There is no excuse when you have the resources and ability to break the cycle! It is not okay to physically or mentally abuse another human being. Deal with your issues.
In our parents and grandparents day there was minimal assistance for their behavioral problems, or as I mentioned previously there was way too much of a stigma surrounding mental health. Today however, we are quite fortunate, we have the ability to break the cycle of abuse through receiving the help we need.
The only true legacies one should pass down to their children are love and positive guidance. It takes more than shelter, food and clothing to successfully lay down the foundation for growth.
WHERE TO DRAW THE LINE
Do you find yourself easily manipulated? And if so, do you consider yourself weak for allowing it to happen? Are you aware that inside of you, you have an inner strength so powerful that you have the ability to stop the manipulation?
I once had a partner who was a very clever mind manipulator, it drove me crazy. In fact it became so intolerable that I could not take anymore, even though I was in love. It hurt tremendously to have to break away but I knew I was going regress if it continued. Situations were constantly reversed making me out to be the aggressor, when I had done nothing wrong, yet would apologize nonetheless. I became so confused that I would often question myself, and had no idea what I had said to amplify an argument, and of course it was never explained when asked so I could rectify it or at least understand. A simple sentence was taken out of context and all hell broke loose. Consequently the relationship was on again off again, and was told at one point “I cannot venture any further into this relationship with you because I have failed to see your ‘ugly’ side.” I stipulated that I did not have an ‘ugly’ side, and was met with “Everybody has an ugly side.” So I got to thinking, hmmm! What is my ugly side? It drove me nuts trying to think of one so I asked a few of my friends to assist, all of whom assured me I did not have an ugly side.
So, I had fallen prey to being manipulated because I was in love. I was given a second and third chance and a fourth through a ‘Pass or fail’ test. I failed of course, though somehow managed to hang on to the relationship. I did however eventually let go for the sake of my sanity.
This is where you draw the line; in fact ‘way prior’ do you draw the line. Mind manipulation is one of the most damaging forms of abuse a person can have over us, we really do not have to tolerate it. I was not weak though acted with my heart instead of my head. The manipulator is the weaker of the two because there are underlying and unresolved issues.
What causes another person to assume the authority of manipulation? There is one word, an embedded “Insecurity” It is not you! What is you is that you feel you have to take it.
HAVE YOU EVER ASKED YOURSELF ANY OF THESE QUESTIONS?
Do I really want to die, or do I just want the pain the end?
If I can somehow erase my pain I would be much happier
If I was not in so much debt and felt like drowning every day, I would be able to enjoy my life.
My life is so boring, what is the point?
If my heart was not broken I would be able to love again.
If I did not feel so sad all the time I would be able to laugh again.
If I did not have a problem with my weight or appearance I would be happy.
If people liked me I wouldn’t be so depressed.
If I wasn’t so ill I would be able to do so much more with my life.
If my spouse didn’t beat or manipulate me I would be at liberty to do the things I want to do.
If my job wasn’t so stressful I could focus more.
If only I could see a light at the end of the tunnel.
If I had time for me and wasn’t so focused on others I would enjoy life more.
I feel suicidal, nobody understands.
If I had wings, I could learn how to fly.
Think about that last statement for a second.
If I had wings I could learn how to fly.
If you identify this as ‘running away’ you are definitely in the wrong mind set. If however you perceive it as having the ability to overcome your situation and soar, you are on the right conscious path.
All of these observations can be turned around to work in your favor, eventually.
Do you really want to die…?
If we could ask those who have died by suicide if they really wanted to die, I wonder what percentage would say in my heart of hearts yes, or no it was more a desperate cry for help. Was it long pre-meditated, or was it spontaneous. If it was pre-meditated could they have been saved? These are all questions we will never know the true answers to, but we do know from some who have attempted that it was a desperate cry for help, a way in which to make others feel and acknowledge their tremendous pain.
If you have contemplated, or are contemplating putting a gun to your head or downing that bottle of pills, truly think about this! You will be ending your life! Gone, departed, kaput. If you do not believe in reincarnation you will not get a second chance, if you do believe you may well have to come back and go through it again, on the other hand, being a suicidal case will you even come back? This is a controversial subject that could be a whole book in itself, which again boils down to our religious preference. Do the untold tests that have led us to break make us sinners? I think not, at the same time my whole purpose of writing this book is to help those suffering to LIVE.
We need to face our untold challenges in order to become stronger wiser individuals. We need to work at overcoming our pain instead of allowing it to eat us alive, and we need not put our friends and loved ones through such excruciating pain because we couldn’t hang. It simply is not fair it is also unfair to deny our soul, spirit and being of happiness in this world. Today is a brand new day. We should….Grasp it, breathe it, live it! It is NOT time to end our life….It is time to repair it!
Erasing the pain…
First and foremost we need to determine what is causing our pain; we can then slowly begin to eradicate it. If you are oblivious as to why you are depressed there’s a chance it may be a chemical imbalance. This is where medication comes into play. Remember 80% of those receiving treatment are treated successfully.
This eye opening book is available to download now as a PDF file for just $8.95. Please visit: www.unveilingthestigma.com
Kindle version is available through Amazon.com.
