The universe provides what is needed. For all of us. There is plenty to go around, and if we could all accept that, imagine what would happen. There would be no more jealousy, no more “who does she think she is” when we see one of our friends stepping out of the box and creating a new and better reality for herself. I say “she” and “her” not because I think this only applies to women (it certainly applies to everyone!), but because women face a particular social stigma when it comes to self promotion.
When a woman does whatever she has to do to get what she wants in business and in life, she’s a narcissistic, selfish bitch who should be ashamed of herself. But when a man does whatever he has to do to get whatever he wants in business and in life, he’s a pioneering entrepreneur that we can all admire. Where does this inequity come from? Truth is, it’s been in place for countless centuries, and the effect is that many women are too afraid of judgment to get out there and promote themselves, even in small ways. They’re afraid of how they’ll be perceived, and afraid of what those perceptions will say about who they really are.
But self promotion doesn’t have to be like that. We can wake up and accept that promoting our passions and achieving our dreams is not about manipulation or narcissism. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. It’s about embracing what we want, and not being afraid to share that with others. Here are a few pointers to promoting yourself without ending up feeling like you did something wrong, or like self-promotion is an offensive act you should be ashamed of.
First of all, ask yourself: who is your source? Be honest. What or who is the source of the things that come to you in your life? The answer can be painful to accept, but right there is the source of your anxiety. If you don’t know who your source is, or believe that it’s somewhere outside yourself, it’s time to have a closer look.
Secondly, remind yourself that everything you see, believe, and perceive is all about the stories you tell yourself. If you have convinced yourself that men can do something that women can’t, or that self-promoting women are somehow in bad taste, then that’s the truth for you. It’s difficult to accept that we create our own truths, but this is actually a great opportunity to embrace your beliefs and the stories you tell yourself, and heal them so that you can have a better attitude.
Finally (for now), it’s a good idea to get out there and have some fun while testing your new-found beliefs. Go on, try a little self promotion and see how it feels. Awkward? Like everyone is judging you harshly? Yeah, that’s to be expected, at least at first. If you’ve spent the first part of your life being told that women shouldn’t self-promote, and spent the next part reinforcing that message within yourself, you’re not going to get rid of that belief overnight. But as with any anxiety, the best way to eliminate it is to face it, and continue facing it until the anxiety subsides. And it will – but not overnight. What’s especially difficult to accept is that no matter what you promote, there will be people who grumble about it, or are vocal about not liking it. But so what? There are people who will like you and people who won’t like you regardless of whether you self promote or not. So you may as well get out there and show the world what you’ve got! Shadows aren’t so scary when you shed light on them, and you can get started turning that light on today.
To go further with Maryanne’s brand of self-inquiry, check out her 4-DVD series, Thrive, on sale now for $25.99! https://www.maryannelive.com/products/cds/shop.product_details/3/flypage.tpl/2.html
