Finding out who people are: seems like it would be relatively easy, primarily given that your body registers more than 90% of all perceptible information pre-cognitively. As a human being your internal navigational system, your intuition and senses, were designed to help “know” what you need to know about anyone within seconds, literally; sometimes sooner if you are extremely sensitive and tuned-in.

Think about it: the last time you met someone, what reaction did your body have to them? Your body either opened or closed, expanded or contracted. At this point you are somatically interpreting all the bazillion bits of data, like posture, tone, smell, gait, eye movement, and so on, at light-speed and drawing critical conclusions; are they angry, aggressive, combative, kind, relaxed, tense? Basically attempting to determine if you are safe, and on how many levels; physically, emotionally, etc. In one of Ayn Rand’s books, one of the characters says; Everything you need to know about someone you will learn in the first 30 seconds of meeting them. And I would add, If you are paying attention!

Within milliseconds that data reaches the “bellyy brain” or “intuition,” (not to be confused with the “mind”) and then the next, and less accurate in some definable ways, filtering process occurs. This portion is largely habitual behavioral recognition, which means it’s a historical filter in the mind, like a database of experience that’s being flicked through at a thousand miles an hour in attempts to recognize familiar patterns (good and bad), speech patterns, common references—any and all data you have that will classify this person into some category that is understandable and recognizable. As a response, your body will expand or contract. And here’s where we get into trouble.

Depending on the various programs and beliefs that we have inherited, learned and acquired, many of our filters have become reflexive defense mechanisms which kick in, sort of like human air bags or safety barriers; he’s obviously uneducated, men who wear tennis shoes with jeans are losers, women who have chipped nail polish and swear are obviously uneducated, women with boob jobs and hair extensions are insecure, fake and high-maintenance, etc. Not that this second phase is inherently bad, but when left unexamined or cross-checked against out first true instinct, we almost always find we have set ourselves up for trouble!

Think about that for a moment. You broke up with someone and you look back and almost always say to yourself, “Gawd, and I knew this-or-that, too.” Because, well, you did! But you over-rode it! So many of us do. It’s become a cultural norm to ignore our intuition. Up until recently, even talking about intuition openly was considered esoteric! Which is sooooo bizarre, given that the body NEVER lies. Rather than blaming this on our overly patriarchal culture, I would urge you to reconsider relying on “second-hand” information. Take some time to review your own life and see how relying solely on your rational brain has not done you justice. A clue: this brain of ours is largely a pain and pleasure center, and scientists are showing now that it is not, in fact, the generator of anything, but a receptor. As ancient wisdom would have it, a wonderful servant but a terrible master. The “belly brain” i.e. the intuition, is the connection for truth and part of the bigger universal field. Sorry, brain!

So why would we do that, over-ride this perfect and flawless gift that was designed to steer us away from danger and towards our heart’s greatest desires? Oh my sweeties, this is the cry of the divine feminine, and why it is sooooo critical that we resurrect and re-awaken “her” inside each of us! Many books—in fact, volumes—have been written to explain this horrific, historical, ongoing death; but for now I will say that we have and will continue to put ourselves in harm’s way unless we learn to re-connect with our BIG brain, and re-learn to inner-view.

For now, take out a pen and paper and go ahead, see for yourself. Look back and see who’s smarter, your body or your brain? And stay tuned for Part Two next week on how to resurrect and build back that ability to be heart-smart!! Awaken our divine intuition…
Maryanne will be teaching a live video webinar on how to “inner-view” potential dates or mates BEFORE you agree to a date or relationship. She’ll be featuring a very eligible bachelor and showing participants the best questions to ask and how to respond, live, on the fly, in real time! Sign up here: http://bit.ly/cvsc90

You have the attachments of your life: your job, your family, your living arrangement, your town, your lifestyle.  Then there are the more internal, personal attachments: your opinions about things, your ideas about how others perceive you, your beliefs, your values.  How much would it take for you to let them go?  Try it for a moment, just watched all these pre-conceived notions fade away as you let go of your attachments to Who You Are.

This includes your attachment to your past.  Let go of your childhood stories, your ideas about whether your family was normal or not.  Let go of your academic record, what your teachers said about you, what kind of kid you think you were.  Let go of your first job, your first date, your first road trip.  Release yourself from your attachment to all these things you have used to try to define yourself.

And of course, there’s attachment to your ideas about the present.  That things are going well, or that they’ve never been worse.  That you’re a success or a failure, or that there’s even any way to measure that.  That you drive an appropriate car for someone of your income level, but you could stand to lose a few pounds.  That you hate your job.  That you want to move to a new place.  That you should start cutting down on caffeine.  Let go of your attachment to all these ideas about how things are, about how things should be.

Now look at your attachment to your personality.  The kind of friend you are, the kind of worker you are, the kind of lover you are.  The idea that you’re funny, or serious, or eccentric.  That you’re more intelligent than most people, that you have a purpose.  That you get bored easily, that you learn new things easily.  That you give good advice, that people trust you or don’t trust you.  That you’re a dog person, that you’re an introvert, that you love to go dancing.  All your attachments to these ideas… let them go.

You’re also attached to your ideas about the world around you.  That big corporations are dangerous, that your political party is better than the other one, that your religious belief is probably the right one.  That nice guys finish last, that kids aren’t getting as good an education as they did in your day, that everything is different now, or that nothing ever changes.  You’re attached to your ideas, you can admit it… and now let that attachment go.

Then there are your attachments to the future.  The idea that your soulmate is out there, or that it matters whether or not a soulmate is even a real thing.  That if you would have given in and had sex with that certain person, they might have stuck around and you might have been married by now.  That you’ll have two kids, or six kids, or adopt kids, or not have any kids.  That God will look out for you when so many others around you are suffering.  That it doesn’t matter what you do because the world will soon end from global warming or terrorism anyway.  That everything will be fine if you can just finish your degree, or get that promotion, or relocate to your dream city.  The very idea that there is a dream city, a place where everything will be better than it is where you are now.  Just let it all go, all your attachments to these ideas.

So now that you’ve let it all go, what are you left with?  Who are you underneath all the attachments?  Great – now let that go, too!  Soon you may find that letting go is the best thing you ever did… then let go of that idea, as well.

Want to learn more about what to know BEFORE you get into a relationship? Go “In the Ring With Maryanne!” In this upcoming video webinar, Maryanne will be interviewing an eligible bachelor live, on the fly, to teach you what types of questions YOU should be asking before you agree to a date or relationship. Sign up here: http://bit.ly/cvsc90

Every spring it’s the same thing – people start breaking out of their winter hibernation and getting frisky! It’s only natural that warmer weather equals less clothes and more fun.

Three tips for a safe and happy spring fling: One, make sure it’s worth it, and that there isn’t some potential side effect that will come back to bite you later. Two, pay attention now or you’ll be forced to pay later. Three, use a condom! Meanwhile, here are some answers to questions I’ve received:

Question sent in by James:

I met this girl at school and ended up falling for her. However, at the time she had a boyfriend who was moving to France. I saw her a couple of times before they officially broke up and then asked her out on a date. She said yes, then flaked on me twice (both times legitimate-ish reasons such as her grandparents’ anniversary do and something else).

We eventually went out a couple of times and texted each other a bit, then suddenly after our second date when I kissed her goodnight on the cheek she didn’t text me for over a week and just ignored my email (I tried to contact her three times). Then she started to talk again and we have seen each other about every two weeks since. I have kissed her on the cheek a couple of times and once on the lips, but that’s it.

When we are out we have such a good time and get along great, and although there is not much physical contact she flirts back. She has since then invited me to go on holiday with her and her family. I’m just not sure where I stand. Are we going out? Her old bf is in a relationship but she isn’t going out with anyone else and never talks about other guys with me. On Valentine’s Day I gave her a card and chocolates, and she gave me the same. She lets me pay for coffees and other things like that. But my question is: Who am I to her, a friend or a boyfriend?—James, UK

Well, James, cards and chocolates are okay on Valentine’s Day, but to be honest, those are the sorts of gifts kids give to each other. If your goal is to test the waters to see if things are available to move to the next level, you’re going to have to talk to her and be direct. Women like men who know what they want, and who aren’t afraid to come out and say it. If you want to know what category you’re in with her, just ask her! That’s the only sure-fire way to learn the truth, and being straightforward can certainly gain you some brownie points. If you ask her directly, you’ll know whether she’s just hanging out with you to pass the time until she finds a new boyfriend, or whether she sees you as that new boyfriend.

Question sent in by Nick:

Every time I meet someone and we wind up liking each other, it always turns out she just wants me as a friend. Even though they all tell me they would date me. Is there any way I can stop winding up the “best friend”? —Nick, US

It’s certainly frustrating when you think you’re doing everything right, but you’re just not getting the results you want. But what that tells me, Nick, is that the recipe you’re using for getting dates is actually the recipe for getting female friends. Knowing the difference can be tricky, as there’s an art to reading a woman’s body language and interactions. Because the last couple of millennia haven’t been all that safe for women, we’ve learned we don’t have the luxury of just coming out and saying what we want.

So here’s a new recipe, one that will hopefully get you a more desirable result. First of all, find the kind of girl that you want to date, and who seems to have the values, personality, and appearance you like. Secondly, and here’s the key part… ask her on a DATE. Don’t just hang out together without discussion and let things get confusing. When you use the word “date,” there’s nothing unclear about that. Girls know exactly what that word means, and if she’s interested in exploring the possibility of romance, she’ll say yes. After you’ve been on three or four dates, even the most reserved girls will probably give you a real kiss. Try it out and see what happens!

Want to learn more about what to know BEFORE you get into a relationship? Go “In the Ring With Maryanne!” In this upcoming video webinar, Maryanne will be interviewing an eligible bachelor live, on the fly, to teach you what types of questions YOU should be asking before you agree to a date or relationship. Sign up here: http://bit.ly/cvsc90

As you can probably imagine, people are always asking me for dating tips. I could go on all day, but I want to highlight some of my current favorites. People can be intimidated by dating for many reasons. Perhaps you had a bad breakup or a divorce and you’re terrified of getting your heart broken again. Maybe you have some self-confidence issues and wonder what anyone would see in you. Whatever the case, if you wouldn’t know what to say to someone you wanted to date, keep these things in mind.

*Start out by knowing what you DON’T want. Make a list of deal-breakers, things you absolutely can’t tolerate in a mate. Maybe for you it’s smoking, or drugs, or gambling. Whatever doesn’t work for you, write it down (for tips on how to do this effectively, get a copy of Hindsight, What You Need to Know Before You Drop Your Drawers.)

*Remember that you are not a product on display. Don’t turn your dating technique into a sales pitch.

*Being desperate will get you nowhere fast! Slow yourself down and thing things through before doing anything drastic. We all have times when we feel the rush of infatuation and want to jump right in, but remember a time when you did that and then regretted it soon after? If someone really is right for you, then it’s not necessary to rush things. Slow down, pause, take a breather, step back. Just because someone seems perfect right now doesn’t mean you should go off the deep end right away.

*Remember that this is not a competition! There are 1.45 million potential mates for everyone who is out there looking. So don’t use your energy for jealousy or competitive spite – there’s enough love to go around, and then some!

*Start preparing now for your new relationship by getting your mind and soul ready. This means making a daily practice of clearing out the old and being open for the new. Get rid of those old memories of a traumatic past, and clear the way for a brighter future!

*Remember that what you show people most is what they will value in you. Don’t push your sex appeal unless that’s what you want to be valued for!

*When you’re around a potential partner, as yourself how you feel. Do you like who you are around them? Do they bring out the best in you, or the worst? Do you find yourself compromising your normal behavior to try to fit in with them? There’s a fine line between fear and excitement – learn to spot the subtle differences. You want to feel invigorated and comfortable, not anxious and insecure!

*If you found someone you like, find out what they bring to the table. You know what your contributions are – what about theirs? Last thing you want is a lopsided relationship where it’s all you give and they take.

*Don’t make it more difficult than it is – let yourself be drawn toward people who think you’re easy to love! I used to worry that I needed to modify my big, sensitive nature to attract people, but it turns out that the right person, my husband, loves my big, sensitive nature!

*Find out if you and this person are on the same page BEFORE you have sex. A relationship builds up to sex, not the other way around.

*Be safe, be smart, and use common sense. You want to set yourself up to succeed!

But my number one tip, and probably the hardest one to learn and put into successful practice, is this: Great relationships begin within!®

If you want some “inner-viewing” tips, go to www.maryannelive.com and sign up for Maryanne’s new webinar series starting June 14. You can watch her doing one of the things she does best, asking the IMPORTANT questions of six live bachelors, one per week, real people, real time. You can choose to simply listen, to ask questions, or to be eligible for a date with the bachelor of your choice. Learn how and when to ask the essential questions, and build your Relationship Toolbelt so you can craft healthy, fulfilling, sustainable relationships!

In Tehran, Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi spoke to a group of
worshippers. He warned them that in order to protect themselves from
natural disasters, they needed to follow a strict code of modesty,
especially modest dress.

“Many women who do not dress modestly lead young men astray and spread
adultery in society which increases earthquakes,” he warned them.

For a moment, I was speechless, and wondered whether someone could really
come up with something so ridiculous. But then it occurred to me: it’s
thinking like this that has led to the prevalent view of women as the
prostitute/victim. And what powerful prostitutes, we are, too – so
powerful that men feel threatened enough to want to control our actions,
our movements, and our clothing. It’s women who cause natural disasters,
it’s women who lead men astray. of course, it’s all so clear now! Maybe
Sandra Bullock’s husband is right to blame women for his abhorrent
philandering! Wow, what a revelation. What is it going to take for us to
wake up and see this dangerous thinking for what it really is?

If I were Mother Nature, this man would have nowhere to hide. I would
rain down a plague of lightning storms, hurricanes, and tidal waves upon
him that would show exactly how I felt about false accusations and unfair
shame being cast on the beautiful creatures of my world. I would then
bring on the mother of all rain storms, washing away the hatred, the fear,
and the delusion that leads to this ridiculous behavior.

If I were the Ghost of Christmas Future, I would lead this man through his
own land, right into one of Iran’s top sperm banks and genetic engineering
facilities. He would see how the facility was run completely by women, and
how those women raised daughters who had gone on to become important world
leaders. One of the facility’s top achievements has been the altering of
the male anatomy. Now, men must earn a penis by first proving that they
are worthy of respect, and being consistently honorable in their thoughts
and actions.

If I were an analyst, I might forego office sessions and send this man
directly to a psych ward, where he could get advanced and intense help for
his delusions. I wouldn’t be surprised if it turned out that there was
some catastrophic event in his childhood that combined with his cultural
conditioning to create a mind that was bound to distort a repressed feeling
of helplessness into a bizarre fantasy of evil women with supernatural
powers.

If I were enlightened, I would have no room for hate in me, as the sadness
of seeing this terribly damaged man would compel me to help him. I would
embrace the emotional illness that severed his connection with the Divine,
and with reality. Then, just for good measure, I’d probably give his
spirit a wake-up call into right thinking by smashing him on the forehead
with a two-by-four, as a particular ancient monk was known to do.

If I were a man, words like these coming from another man would fill me
with embarrassment and anger, and I’d want to do something about it. I’d
want to find a way to make sure that this man would never again feel
compelled to bring unjust shame and humiliation upon womankind, which in
turn reflects upon everyone. Perhaps we could start by fitting this man
with a chador that couldn’t be removed, or maybe a chastity belt would get
the point across more clearly.

If I were an Iranian woman in Tehran, I’d be a lesbian, and choose a life
of celibacy!

Any relationship can be fabulous as long as no one ever expresses anything unpleasant!

In days gone by, I was the kind of person who would be sure to explode if someone told me to “take it easy” or “chill out.”  I would give them exactly what they were trying to avoid – a full-blown freak-out.  Over time, I came to believe that these experiences represented the “fact” that I was too larger-than-life, too much for people to handle, and maybe just too crazy.

Some of those experiences happened so long ago that it’s surprising how clearly I remember them.  I have a very vivid recollection of being in the car with my then-boyfriend.  We were sitting at a traffic light, when he suddenly turned to me and asked, “why do you have to be so dramatic about everything?”

You can imagine my response, complete with flailing arms, flared nostrils, and perhaps even some spittle flying from my side of the car to his.  He watched in terror while trying not to make any sudden moves, as I showed him exactly what happens when my (admittedly large) capacity for conveying emotion is called into question in a negative way.

Basically he was looking for someone who would say whatever they needed to say quietly and calmly, without any of the gesticulations and big gestures he had come to expect from me.  I regularly access the full range of human emotions, and I figured that he must be into it, otherwise what was he doing dating me?  He had no response to that, and I remember thinking that he couldn’t say anything because he must have known I was right.  In reality, he had probably failed to respond because he’d put up a safety shield to block me, and as such had completely tuned me out.

That relationship was a great example of how chemistry and compatibility are not the same thing.  It wasn’t that one of us was right and the other was wrong, but more a case of an analog person trying to mate with a digital person.  These two different types of people deal with emotional responses in completely different ways, so much so that it’s worth making sure you don’t confuse the two.

I am a good example of a digitally emotional personality, with a greater capacity for outward response, and a heightened interested in exploring emotional responses.  But before I came to terms with this, I used to try to force myself to be more analog, more in control of my feelings and responses, because I thought people found it more acceptable if I could be less high-maintenance, less intuitive, and less expressive.

I finally learned my lesson: there is very little mileage in trying to deny my true nature, or to try to minimize my feelings about things.  Likewise, there’s no point in trying to blame someone else if their way of dealing with emotions does not mesh with mine.  That ex-boyfriend was reserved and emotionally conservative, and there’s nothing wrong with that.  My mistake was trying to force him to love my big nature, and punish him with it when he didn’t.  We simply did not bring out the best in each other or in ourselves with that relationship, and eventually when that fundamental difference came to the surface, we called it quits.

After that, I made the choice to start attracting the kind of people who would love and appreciate me for my intense emotions, for my larger-than-life way of expressing them, and for my passion.  I wanted to meet people who weren’t intimidated by a strong personality, and who actually felt invigorated and energized by it!  When my husband arrived on the scene, it was like a match made in heaven.  You have to make yourself into a magnet for the things that will enrich and reflect who you really are.  It all starts from a place of self-acceptance and love for your highest self.  And that’s the key: Great Relationships Begin Within!

*The magnet is the second tool in my relationship tool belt. Get a copy of Hindsight: What You Need to Know Before You Drop Your Drawers! at www.maryannelive.com

The universe provides what is needed.  For all of us.  There is plenty to go around, and if we could all accept that, imagine what would happen.  There would be no more jealousy, no more “who does she think she is” when we see one of our friends stepping out of the box and creating a new and better reality for herself.  I say “she” and “her” not because I think this only applies to women (it certainly applies to everyone!), but because women face a particular social stigma when it comes to self promotion.

When a woman does whatever she has to do to get what she wants in business and in life, she’s a narcissistic, selfish bitch who should be ashamed of herself.  But when a man does whatever he has to do to get whatever he wants in business and in life, he’s a pioneering entrepreneur that we can all admire.  Where does this inequity come from?  Truth is, it’s been in place for countless centuries, and the effect is that many women are too afraid of judgment to get out there and promote themselves, even in small ways.  They’re afraid of how they’ll be perceived, and afraid of what those perceptions will say about who they really are.

But self promotion doesn’t have to be like that.  We can wake up and accept that promoting our passions and achieving our dreams is not about manipulation or narcissism.  It’s nothing to be ashamed of.  It’s about embracing what we want, and not being afraid to share that with others.  Here are a few pointers to promoting yourself without ending up feeling like you did something wrong, or like self-promotion is an offensive act you should be ashamed of.

First of all, ask yourself:  who is your source?  Be honest.  What or who is the source of the things that come to you in your life?  The answer can be painful to accept, but right there is the source of your anxiety.  If you don’t know who your source is, or believe that it’s somewhere outside yourself, it’s time to have a closer look.

Secondly, remind yourself that everything you see, believe, and perceive is all about the stories you tell yourself.  If you have convinced yourself that men can do something that women can’t, or that self-promoting women are somehow in bad taste, then that’s the truth for you.  It’s difficult to accept that we create our own truths, but this is actually a great opportunity to embrace your beliefs and the stories you tell yourself, and heal them so that you can have a better attitude.

Finally (for now), it’s a good idea to get out there and have some fun while testing your new-found beliefs.  Go on, try a little self promotion and see how it feels.  Awkward?  Like everyone is judging you harshly?  Yeah, that’s to be expected, at least at first.  If you’ve spent the first part of your life being told that women shouldn’t self-promote, and spent the next part reinforcing that message within yourself, you’re not going to get rid of that belief overnight.  But as with any anxiety, the best way to eliminate it is to face it, and continue facing it until the anxiety subsides.  And it will – but not overnight.  What’s especially difficult to accept is that no matter what you promote, there will be people who grumble about it, or are vocal about not liking it.  But so what?  There are people who will like you and people who won’t like you regardless of whether you self promote or not.  So you may as well get out there and show the world what you’ve got!  Shadows aren’t so scary when you shed light on them, and you can get started turning that light on today.

To go further with Maryanne’s brand of self-inquiry, check out her 4-DVD series, Thrive, on sale now for $25.99! https://www.maryannelive.com/products/cds/shop.product_details/3/flypage.tpl/2.html

Launching June 1, Opposites Connect is a new online dating site that is backed by psychologists (similar to the creditability factor of eHarmony.com) but connects singles with their opposite based on a quiz which connect five paradigms of likeness, compatibility and interests. The goal isn’t the cliché that opposites attract. It’s to connect individuals with more interesting dates. This site won’t tout marriage, promise to find Mr. or Mrs. Right – but will guarantee that “your first dates turn to fun dates” and that singles are finally meeting interesting, new somebodies.

Opposites Connect creates intellectual conversations and fascinating relationships.  For a limited time we will be offering a FREE life-time membership to anyone who signs up early on OppositesConnect.com. Early sign-ups will get VIP access on the launch date as well as to regional events.

Visit us at Oppositesconnect.com
Become a Fan at facebook.com/OppositesConnect
Follow us @OppsConnect

To an outsider looking in, it must appear that our dating culture is based around monetary worth.  And that’s not too far from the truth – we use money as a tool not only for dating, but for hanging onto a relationship that might otherwise fall apart.  After all the initial daily expenses of food, movie tickets, gas, parking, condoms, hotel rooms, drinks, cover charges at clubs, the price of being with someone only gets more expensive.

The gifts can get more and more extravagant, and eventually more and more personal, as well.  What starts out as buying your lover an iPhone or a mp3 player, can lead to you helping out with their debts, lending them money on a regular basis, or whatever else they start expecting from you.  When you begin a relationship on the basis of your bank account, it can be impossible to shift your worth in the relationship away from just your willingness to spend money on the other person.  The true cost of this?  The pricelessness of selling your soul.

As short a time as it may seem, most relationships begin to decline after six weeks.  There’s the initial game of using the tools of insecurity to lure a mate, where texting turns to sexting and, very soon, actual sex.  But then once all those cards are out on the table, there’s really nothing left, and when the person you’re dating sees that underneath the games, you’re just a human being and not some fantasy of perfection, they no longer want to play.  If you’re lucky, you manage to leave first, instead of being left.  That’s the depressing best-case scenario.

We all dream about how nice it would be to be accepted in a relationship for who we really are, not just what we look like or how much money we have, but most people write this off as an unrealistic fantasy that can’t exist in the real world.  But if you look at some of the pioneers who are beginning to dedicate their lives to waking up and living in a self-aware state, you can see that we are actually in a prime position to start turning this thing around, to begin evolving into a culture of people who look within ourselves to find the love and worth that already exists there, dormant and waiting for our acceptance.

This is actually a really lucky time for us to be on this earth and looking for love.  We are at a pivotal time in our history, where we are beginning to accept that there is more to attracting a mate than just baiting someone with physical lust or an impressive bank balance.  We are free to exercise our ability to choose to stop playing the blame game, to accept personal responsibility for how we behave, not only with others but as separate entities.  We are in a position where we can stop following our bodies around, looking for instant gratification, and can instead contemplate our choices, and make healthy decisions based on what we can expect the consequences to be.

And how does knowing this get you into the world of dating like a rich person?  You just have to stop and see where your real value lies.  Because it’s not in your bank account, or in your bra cup, or in the car you drive or your willingness to buy gifts for someone.  It’s the fact that you are a spectacular, unique representation of divinity, and there is no one else who can be you in the way that you are.  This is a profound realization, and acceptance of it is the greatest and most valuable secret to attracting the mate you really want.  All you have to do is fall in love with yourself, look within you for the happiness you seek, and then put yourself out there for others to see.  Showing the world the positive feelings you have about who you are is your golden ticket, and as I always say, great relationships begin within!  If you want to learn more about starting down the road to your true self, get a copy of Hindsight, What You Need to Know Before You Drop Your Drawers today!

www.maryannelive.com

May every blessing come your way!

To learn important inner-viewing skills, up close and personal, with Maryanne and special guest and author Eve Hogan, tune into their FREE teleseminar: http://www.maryannelive.com/register-now.html You’ll learn how to figure out what you want, how to get it, and never waste time on a bad date/mate again!

There are millions of dollars spent everyday on disease prevention, disease education, disease research, pharmaceutical drugs, etc. — but I bet if you would talk to your primary physician, he or she would stress the importance to you of managing the stress in your life.

While this is something that mental health professionals discuss in great deal with clients, this is something that perhaps you do not get to talk about too much in the doctor’s office because after all you are there either for your annual check-up or you are there to seek help for a problem. Either way, your doctor has limited amounts of time to discuss the stress levels in your life — but that doesn’t mean that they aren’t important. They are!

Stress is making millions of us sick. Disease, diabetes, cancers, respiratory problems, etc. are all direct results of stress. Chronic levels of stress wreak havoc on the systems in our body directly. Indirectly, human beings try to medicate and manage stress with many negative things that result in sickness such as: bad foods, alcohol, cigarette smoking, recreational drug use, and more.

With the recent world events: our crumbling world economy, highly charged political elections, more media coverage of “bad news” in our communities, a deterioration of many of our moral boundaries, weather related catastrophies (hurricanes, earthquakes) — it’s no wonder that our stress levels are up and we are getting sicker and sicker. Not to mention the real kicker — many of use do not have any or adequate health coverage to even combat these problems.

That’s why it is so important for us to take a preventative approach towards our mental health and resulting physical health.

1. Make time for you. Even if it is only 15 minutes today.

2. Do things that you enjoy. Do you remember what they are?

3. Take time for mental stimulation or exercise such as leisure reading, crossword puzzles, or suduko

4. Try meditation or yoga. Give it about 4 weeks and see how you feel.

5. Call someone you haven’t talked to in months or even years.

6. Perform an act of kindness. Pay for someone’s toll on the bridge. Write a nice letter to someone in our armed forces. Help your neighbor out with something in their yard. Run some errands for a disabled or elderly person.

7. Music has the ability to change moods. Throw on some tunes that you love to sing or dance to around the house. I love singing Aretha Franklin songs!

8. Take a walk in your neighborhood or in one where you can gain some ideas on how to add curb appeal to your own home. I call it dream walking!

9. Decide not to stress about things out of your control today. You may not be able to do that everyday with kids or at the job — but you can do it just one day. See how you feel afterward.

10. Write it out. When you are facing issues that can truly impact your life and the lives of your family — sometimes it’s best to write it all down. Journal it. You may just write the solution to one of your problems.