Can You Date New People When You Are Living With Your Ex Husband Or Wife?

If an ex married couple decide to live together after a divorce how will they cope with their ex husband or wife dating other people?

There are many reasons ex married couples continue to live together such as not being able to sell their assets and pay off their debts.They may also find it difficult to provide for their children if they are living apart. The high cost of running two households may not be an option if they are among the victims of the world recession.

Whatever their reasons they have to put in place a workable plan that will enable them to live in the same home not as husband and wife but as roommates or friends.

So what could cause this picture of ex marital bliss to suddenly fall apart? When an ex partner announces they want to date new people.

DATING NEW PEOPLE has the potential to either work really well or make each partner look for the nearest escape route.

Now this may seem a little dramatic but if you were told that this play was being acted out in suburbs throughout the world you would probably shake your head in disbelief.

The truth is people are living like this and doing it really well. Some have been sharing their home with their ex hisband or wife for many years. So why do people find it hard to believe that ex married partners have found the secret to making it work. It shows clearly how our faith in mankind’s ability to adapt to new situations has diminished.

Dating new people when you are divorcing and living together is possible if you can communicate successfully with each other. Spend time setting up boundaries that you both can live with because when you introduce a new player into the family unit the dynamics will be changed.

The first point you will both need to agree on is whether you bring your date’s home or see them on neutral territory.

If you bring potential new parents into the house it may really confuse and upset the children unless they are older and comfortable with the way things are. Children can be amazingly resilient and adaptable but you are their guardians and will have to monitor any adverse reaction. You do not want your children to feel uncomfortable, as it will manifest itself in psychological and physical issues further down the track. You have to put your children’s welfare first at all times.

If one partner has been secretly hoping for reconciliation with her married ex then watching him or her date other people will be very hurtful. Harboring unresolved feelings for your ex if there is zero chance of resuming the relationship will not be emotionally healthy for you so you will need to move on. This will give you time to grieve and get over your ex properly. Living together during a divorce can only work if both parties are certain they want a divorce.

Dating new people should never be a way of making an ex partner jealous. It must not be used as a form of manipulation to score points or enact revenge either. There needs to be a form of dating etiquette in place so each ex partner knows what is expected of them. Building mutual respect for each other will ensure each person is able to function with dignity within the confines of their living arrangement.

After a stormy or troubled marriage people can find their self-esteem shattered. Once they meet someone new whose company has none of the negative vibes that was an aspect of the marriage they may appear a lot happier to their ex and their children. If nothing else it will certainly create a brighter mood.

There are many emotions to deal with once you both agree to date new people and it will definitely present some interesting challenges. As long as the children’s environment is filled with encouragement, love and a sense of unity you should be able to navigate your way to an amicable divorce.

It can be said that miracles have happened to some ex couples in this position and much to the delight of family, friends and children they have often decided to give their marriage another go. Perhaps they found that the grass was not greener on the other side after all.

Whatever the outcome patience, compassion and forgiveness should be your guiding lights along with the ability to really listen.


Are you on the brink of DIVORCE and worried about the future? Linda E Cole has written LIVING TOGETHER IN DIVORCE so you can learn how to make it work. This is MUST HAVE easy manual for


  1. says

    This is indeed a sensible issue…First of all, it should not be a problem while two ex are clear adults, the fact that they still live together is no more related to a romance.
    Second, while it may look a little sarcastic to bring a woman at home while you ex-wife is cooking, well, it’s not.
    Everybody must deal with the current situation they’re in, right? :)

  2. Anthony Beretta says

    I honestly don’t think it’s that good of an idea.  No matter what there will be jealousy in my opinion.  How do you know what the ex-married couples are doing when you are gone??  People that love each other and that were married need to be apart or I see it as a possibility of getting back.  They are living in the same household.  Yes, there are extreme circumstances but on a general note I don’t think this is a good idea at all.  Once the debts are paid off, then move and then date.  Otherwise, I don’t see how this could be good.  Suppose the new date is better looking, more successful???  The partner is going to get jealous and possibly try to get the other person back.  That’s the way I see it.  

  3. Yanamitchell7 says

    Living with ex for economical reasons, and at the same time wanting to date someone is in my simple opinion wanting to have your cake and eat it, too. Either you are together again, or you are not. If not, make do with less, on your own. What you gain is a piece of mind and freedom to built your future. If you move in, though, with your ex, you got to work on being with him or her and be happy with whom you have.